What Hurts The Most
by The Autumn Alchemist
Summary: A songfic that tells of Hiei's mate dying to tell him she's sorry. Bad summary, I know. Inspired by Rascall Flatts


Rain was pouring outside, the day looking a dreary dark gray as thunder and lightning struck in the distance. Sitting in a lone apartment, was a young girl of 16 or so, honey brown hair straight down her back, looking rumpled and dirty from no shower. Her evenly tanned face was contorted into one of depression. Sitting next to the window, a pair of jeans and a simple white and blue t-shirt was all that was around her body. She ignored the pitter patter of a set of little feet and the unsteady steps of one just walking. She looked over at the direction when she heard a small 'oof' and she picked up Matt, her younger brother while Melody, her younger sister, was rubbing the three year olds head, where he bonked it.

"You should be more careful with him Melody," the young woman said, her eyes caring but dulled by depressing thoughts. Setting Matt in his and Melody's room, Chels went over to her room, sitting on her bed and thinking of him. He had left her suddenly, not being there when she woke up. She paid no mind to the rain above, only the sorrow in her heart. She looked around her room, noticing that her simple acoustic guitar was gathering a little dust in the corner of the room. Grasping it with slender, calloused fingers, she strummed a few chords, trying to think of a good song to play. It clicked in her mind, and she gave a sad smile, the lyrics playing in her head.

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out  
_

She couldn't see anything else but the window and the outside world, blurry by the held in tears she was having. Her fingers kept strumming the metal strings, melodious music playing from the guitar as she just looked outside. "Hiei," she whispered, a single tear falling down as she remembered him. She could never help but remember every smirk, every glance, and every kiss he'd given to her. Having such a huge argument and then he left was tearing up her already fragile heart even more. 3 months he's been gone, disappeared without a trace. She wanted to apologize to him, want him to come back, and everything to be happy again.

_I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while  
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok  
But that's not what gets me_

What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was tryin' to do

She looked down, her blue flame eyes looking at the ground and looking dead to the world. She couldn't stop playing, not while it was her only distraction from reality. Her memories of him were all she had right now, some good and other bad. She couldn't believe how stupid she was, to fall in love only to lose him. She thought angrily to herself that at the time, she could've done all that work by herself, her father's beatings maybe getting worse but she would survive, just like all the other times. Shoulder's shaking, lips quivering, and eyes watering, she knew that this wasn't going to go well, not anymore, not like it was before.

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doin' It  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
Still Harder  
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken  
_

_What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do_

She never heard the door opening, never heard the kids squealing in happiness, nor did she care about who it was. She didn't even know if she wanted someone to see her all tearful. She never noticed the door opening to her room but she kept playing, the tears streaming down her face like waterfalls. For a long time, it was just silent her in room, besides her guitar humming with the notes of the song. She finally let her guitar slip out of her hands, the emotions being too much for her once again and she dipped her head down into her hands, crying softly.

_What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do_

Sniffing and trying to wipe away her tears, she didn't hear the footsteps nearing towards her, until she felt arms encircling her, holding her close in a damp, but warm embrace. She froze, her tears still falling but she never knew what was going on. Turning her head around, she found it was a tired, beaten Hiei. She didn't know what to say, but before he could do anything, she twisted around and grasped him, crying her eyes out once more but in relief. "I though you'd never come back," was her cracking voice, sniffs and hiccups coming from between the words. He just held her, rocking her back and forth, trying to make here stop crying.

_Not seeing that loving you  
That's what I was trying to do  
Ooohhh...._

* * *

**Hey guys! Sorry that I haven't posted in such a loooooong time. I've been busy with everything around here, and with no inspiration, it doesn' help at all either. Anyways, this little one shot was based off an rp I happened to do with one of my friends, and well, listening to Rascall Flatts sorta made me come up with this idea. I know, it's soooo short, but it's hard enough to type without waking up your mom at like, 6 or 7 in the morning. I hope you all enjoyed this. Sorry if it was really sappy, but hey, it's my writting and I'll take whatever you throw at me. :Is hit in the head with a shoe: Hey! That hurt! **

**Kari: That's what you get! You should've done me and Shuuichi-kun! **

**Me: :sighs: she's not a mary-sue guys, this is just how my friend will act. :ducks under another shoe: Ha! :gets hit with a pie: -_-#**

**Before I go medival on her, I just want to say, thank you to all who will review and have read this :bows: It has been a pleasure writting this. (Only took me about half an hour.) ^_^**


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